Baby #4 (but really #5)

My beautiful son, Zach. How can I put into words all that he has meant to us?

I miscarried our fourth baby on Labor Day weekend in 1996. It was a devastating loss. After three healthy uneventful pregnancies and healthy children, we never imagined that loss could happen to us. After months of waiting and praying for another life, we were expecting a new little one. Praise be to God!

We wanted a party this time! Of course we’d have this baby at home, and asked our midwife from David’s birth to be with us again. My doula friend, who had helped us during the miscarriage, would provide active labor support. We also invited 3 of my closest friends - one to be with me, one to look after our older 3 kids and one to record the birth on video. I’ve never been one for the camera, but thought that maybe we’d be glad to have this one record.

His labor and birth were fast. Overnight, of course, as our birth team had to travel dark back country roads, but he emerged so easily that I did not realize he had come already. He was rather fussy from the get-go; I remember being desperate for a short nap by early morning. My doula held him while my friend made breakfast for the kids.

The video of his birth did not come out; apparently the camera had malfunctioned. That is okay with me, for I will never forget the joy and wonder of that day. Tomorrow he will be 24 years old!